Shoo Shamer, Don't Bother Me!

Posted by Amrita McIntyre on

I had no idea pregnancy shaming even existed and sometimes I wonder if people actually realize that they are shaming when they open their mouth. I experienced it a few times when I was pregnant with Mila, people would comment on how big I was for how far along I was, and unfortunately I've experienced it again.  

Mila James Mom Style
Because every pregnant mama wants to bathe in ice cream and sprinkles, amirite??

Recently, I was at an event where I sat down and was chatting with someone. This someone who I assumed had no children because children was a topic of conversation and normally when children come up, people talk about their little ones as well. So as I sat down, she clearly saw that I was pregnant and asked me how far along I was. I told her I was about 6 months and immediately her eyes got super big, looked me up and down and said, "WOW, BIG BABY!" The look on her face alone had me feeling disgusted but seriously, so many thoughts ran through my head. What did she mean? Like, what does she REALLY mean by this? I know she meant WOW, you're really big for being 6 months. I wanted to ask her if she's ever been pregnant, and how much she weighed, and how did she look? I didn't know there was a specific way every woman should look when 6 months pregnant. 

I find that anytime I am dressed and feeling my best during both of my pregnancies is when I got the most comments about my size, which I have NO idea why people feel as though they should or can comment on my size. I wonder, does it bother them? So bad to where they have to make a comment to me? 

Mila James kids style Do people forget that every woman is built different, every woman carries their children differently? Sure, I wish I could be skinny and only have a belly but that's not me, that wasn't me before and I'm pretty sure that'll never be me. I grow wide, my belly isn't the only thing that grows on me, and I have ALWAYS been this way. Anytime I gain any kind of weight, I gain it all over, never just in one spot. I have never been the skinniest girl but I am okay with that. My hips have always been wide, and when I am pregnant, they are WAY wide! I don't feel as though I need to explain all these things to these women, WOMEN, who I feel should understand the struggle it is to maintain this image of what people assume they should look like pregnant or not. 

So recently, my husband and I were out having lunch and someone asked me how far along I was and I hesitated and lied, then I felt terrible for lying because why should I? At first I knew I lied because I was afraid of hearing more comments of how big I am but then I thought why, why lie about something I should be embracing. When I was pregnant with Mila, I hid a lot because I was afraid of comments. When I got pregnant this time I told my husband that I was going to try and embrace this pregnancy a lot more and I find myself falling into that same pattern, where I don't want to be seen by people and I try to avoid people asking me how far along I am, which is really hard to do, haha! 

Mila James Mom LifeMe and my babies at Disneyland! 

Pregnancy has been a struggle for me, my pregnancy with Mila was pretty hard but this time it has been way harder. I have so many more off days then I do on, and lack so much energy, so I can't go out and run marathons to maintain my pre-baby body. I wish people would look outside of the box where the women who have amazing pregnancies live and realize there are some of us who struggle and because of their words, I start to shame myself. I am working on trying to stay positive, having a happy healthy baby is most important. I mean, I am so blessed to have this little one growing in my tummy and that's what matters most. 

I was very hesitant to post about this on social media but then I thought to myself that there has to be other women who feel the same way as me and could relate to what I have to say. If you have something negative to say please tell your friend, not me, haha! Which is what women should always do. If for any reason you feel as though you need to shame another woman, please discuss it with your friend and not with the actual person you are trying to shame! You have no idea how your pointless opinion can effect the person you are shaming. 

Mila James Mom LifeMy body made this silly, full of energy, princess loving (sometimes bratty and a little too 'tudy) beautiful little girl, she's the love of my life! This body made me a mama and I am forever grateful! 

I'm just out here trying to survive this pregnancy that has me sweating like a sumo wrestler the minute I walk out of the house while chasing my super sassy "threenager" of a daughter, so please, be kind to this mama!! 

1 comment

  • Muchas gracias. ?Como puedo iniciar sesion?

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